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It's Not Easy

I root for the Minnesota teams. The Twins, Vikings, Timberwolves and Wild (and pretty much in that order). And it's not easy.
I live in Los Angeles, so I don't get to see them that much. I get to the sports bar when I can to watch the Vikings games on satellite, and the Twins are on national TV a little more these days because they're (this weekend's series with the Yankees notwithstanding) good again. I don't really follow the NBA or the NHL, so I don't see much of anything else.
In my lifetime the Twins won two world championships, in 1987 and 1991, and then these last few months I had to watch Kirby Puckett go from local hero to national disgrace. The Timberwolves have never been past the first round of the playoffs, and what's more they're about to get punked by the Lakers (probably before the next issue of this website is even published). It's even worse to watch my teams get beat up by the So Cal guys (as the Twins got beat up by the Angels last year; I was on hand for game four. It was bad). And the Vikings aren't only bad, they've got the reputation of being a bunch of jerks.
Essentially, Minnesota sports fans have almost nothing to be proud of (at least until the Wild get really good. They might still beat Colorado, which would be a small, temporary consolation). The World Series titles have been tarnished by Kirby's off-the-field behavior, the Minneapolis Lakers won some titles but that was back before anybody cared, the Vikings are pretty much the biggest Super Bowl joke in NFL history (at least the Bills set a record by getting to four straight), and our first hockey team moved to Texas (Texas!) without ever winning the Cup.
Many have suggested, given the fact that I have lived in Los Angeles for almost seven years and the fact that things aren't looking that good for the future of Minnesota professional sports (the Twins might make the playoffs, but we all know they're not going to win the World Series. Although it would be UNBELIEVABLY sweet if they did. You have no idea. I called in sick to work last year to watch Twins/Angels game two on TV. I'm not bragging, I'm just saying), that I switch my allegiances to the L.A. area teams (which would leave me still rooting for the Vikings, I guess, and thus not solving my problems all that much).
The thing is, you can't just do that. Unless your team disbands or moves or something, it's nearly impossible to give up on them (look at Red Sox fans). For me, being a fan of certain teams is just something I was practically born with. I could say I was going to back the L.A. Kings, but when they'd play the Wild I would cheer for Minnesota. I just wouldn't be able to help myself. You just like the teams you like, you don't "decide" for whom to root.
Some people used my own analogy against me: I have said (and will again) that I can't stand Raiders fans from Los Angeles (well, not that I can't stand the people, I just can't stand the fact that they're Raider fans. Although if they ARE Raider fans, odds are I wouldn't be able to stand them anyway). The team left, they don't love you anymore, get over it. I likened the situation to someone who was still, years after she left, pining for the girl they went out with in college. Let's say she went out with you for a little while, then went back to her high school sweetheart and has been back with him for years. Maybe they're even engaged (I don't know where Al Davis fits in here; I guess he would be her psycho dad). But you keep following her, writing her letters, longing for her to the exclusion of any other girls.
Someone at work this week said I was doing the same thing with the Minnesota teams; longing for them while we were inexorably separated. I disagreed. I said we had a long-distance relationship, and that we loved each other just as much as we ever did. And, whenever she (the Twins in this instance being "she," but also the Vikings when they come to San Diego this season, if I can get tickets) is in town, we adequately make up for lost time (i.e., whenever the Twins are in town to play the Angels I go and see them).
So, my point is, I'll keep cheering for the Minnesota teams even though there's very little light at the end of the tunnel. I'm a Twins, Vikings, Timberwolves and Wild fan, and I have to come to terms with that.
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