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Yes, As It Happens, I AM Ready For Some Football
In an episode (the best ever, in my humble opinion) of "South Park" that aired for the first time last April, the character of Eric Cartman passed himself off as a robot -- the AWESOM-O 4000 -- in order to fool Butters, a gullible young lad who is frequently the butt of his jokes.
When Butters reveals that he has a videotape of Cartman, dressed as Britney Spears, dancing around with a cardboard cutout of Justin Timbelake, Butters tells "AWESOME-O" that if Cartman ever messes with him again, he'll show everyone the tape.
So Cartman has to keep up the AWESOM-O charade, to the point of accompanying Butters on a trip to see relatives in Los Angeles. At one point, Butters takes AWESOM-O to a movie studio/theme park, and a crowd gathers around AWESOM-O, asking him questions.
"AWESOM-O," asks one tourist. "How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"
"Seventeen," AWESOM-O replies.
The next question: who will win the Super Bowl this year?
AWESOM-O's answer: the New Orleans Saints.
The point is, in an NFL era in which four of the last five Super Bowl champions were teams that hadn't even made the playoffs the season before, anything can happen. Even the Saints winning the Super Bowl (and, to be sure, the Saints winning the Super Bowl could only happen in an environment in which absolutely anything, no matter how ridiculous, is possible).
Until the NFL season starts, and as soon as it ends, I'm a baseball guy. I don't follow football very closely in the offseason at all. Once the Sports Illustrated football preview arrives at my door, though, I tend to pick it back up quickly. But my football predictions are generally queered by the fact that I've ignored the NFL for six months. Every fall, I have to start at Square "Wait, the Houston Oilers are playing where?," and work forward. The good news is that once the season starts, and the teams have a few games under their belts, I tend to pick it up pretty quick. I could probably do a reasonably well-informed NFL preview after Week 3.
That said, enjoy my 2004 NFL picks, the most important of which was influenced solely by the throwaway line of a pretend cartoon robot.
(* indicates Wild Card winner)
NFC NORTH
1. Minnesota Vikings 11-5
2. Green Bay Packers 9-7
3. Detroit Lions 6-10
4. Chicago Bears 5-11
NFC SOUTH
1. Carolina Panthers 12-4
2. New Orleans Saints 12-4*
3. Atlanta Falcons 7-9
4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 7-9
NFC EAST
1. Philadelphia Eagles 10-6
2. Washington Redskins 10-6*
3. Dallas Cowboys 8-8
4. New York Giants 6-10
NFC WEST
1. Seattle Seahawks 11-5
2. St. Louis Rams 8-8
3. San Francisco 49ers 4-12
4. Arizona Cardinals 3-13
AFC NORTH
1. Baltimore Ravens 10-6
2. Pittsburgh Steelers 8-8
3. Cincinnati Bengals 7-9
4. Cleveland Browns 5-11
AFC SOUTH
1. Indianapolis Colts 13-3
2. Tennessee Titans 10-6*
3. Houston Texans 6-10
4. Jacksonville Jaguars 5-11
AFC EAST
1. New England Patriots 12-4
2. New York Jets 9-7
3. Buffalo Bills 8-8
4. Miami Dolphins 6-10
AFC WEST
1. Kansas City Chiefs 12-4
2. Denver Broncos 11-5*
3. Oakland Raiders 4-12
4. San Diego Chargers 4-12
WILD CARD PLAYOFFS
NFC
Saints over Eagles
Seahawks over Redskins
AFC
Patriots over Titans
Broncos over Ravens
DIVISIONAL PLAYOFFS
NFC
Saints over Panthers
Vikings over Seahawks
AFC
Colts over Broncos
Chiefs over Patriots
CHAMPIONSHIP GAMES
NFC
Saints over Vikings
AFC
Colts over Chiefs
SUPER BOWL XXXIX
Saints over Colts
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