September 12, 2005 Issue 127
	No. 2 Draft Pick Ronnie Brown Unmasked, Revealed to be Ryan Leaf Originally posted 4/25/2005 Above: NFL commissioner Paul Tagliabue unmasks former Chargers quarterback Ryan Leaf, who had been masquerading as Auburn running back Ronnie Brown NEW YORK - Scandal rocked the NFL draft this weekend when, as No. 2 overall pick Ronnie Brown of Auburn was being congratulated by commissioner Paul Tagliabue on being drafted by the Miami Dolphins, the commissioner reached over and pulled off Brown's mask, revealing him to be former No. 2 pick Ryan Leaf. "I knew that if I could get picked second in the draft again, I wouldn't screw it up this time," said Leaf as he was led away in handcuffs. "And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for that meddling commissioner." "It was nothing," said Tagliabue. "I was just doing my job." Tagliabue was nevertheless rewarded by the league's owners with a year's supply of Commissioner Snacks. "I was really concerned at first," said new Dolphins head coach Nick Saban, who coached against the real Ronnie Brown at LSU and liked what he saw. "I was worried that we'd have to have Ryan Leaf on our team, and as you can imagine, that really, really wasn't the direction I wanted to go." Brown was discovered unconscious and locked inside a linen closet in a nearby hotel minutes after Leaf's plan was foiled by Tagliabue. After coming to, he told reporters what had transpired earlier in the day. "I heard a knock at my door," Brown said, "and I answered it, and it was Ryan Leaf with my room service order. I didn't think anything of it, other than I was happy that he'd found work somewhere. Then I said, 'Hey, wait a minute. I didn't order any room service!' And that's the last thing I remember before the maid found me in the closet a couple minutes ago." "I had every team's draft headquarters bugged," Leaf explained, "and when it became clear that the Dolphins wouldn't be able to trade their pick, and that they weren't going to take [Cal quarterback] Aaron Rodgers, all I had to do was dispose of Ronnie Brown and I knew the second pick would be used on me. And this time, I'd show 'em. No more playing golf when I should have been lifting weights, no more screaming at reporters for no reason... I was going to be the best darn No. 2 pick the NFL had ever seen. And now it's all ruined. Ruined!"
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